


when we were young

by tangentiallly



Category: A Series of Unfortunate Events - Lemony Snicket
Genre: Don’t copy to another site, F/F, Fingering, Implied/Background Relationships - Freeform, occasional group chats between BBK and JKL, sexy times on the taxi, the opera night happens in the background sometime, there's not really a plot but. only just one section of porn tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2020-02-26 11:11:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18715867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tangentiallly/pseuds/tangentiallly
Summary: Fragment pieces of stories about Kit hooking up with Esmé, and plotting a mission on an opera night.





	when we were young

**Author's Note:**

> disclaimer: I don't own ASOUE  
> please don't copy this story to another site

“Were you just on a date?” Beatrice asked, sitting down right next to Kit and planted her chin onto Kit’s right shoulder with some effort (short and flexible and sporty as always, Kit thought) and sniffed a little. “You smell like a fashionable yet overpriced restaurant.”

“I would not call it a date,” Kit replied, rolling her eyes.

“So it _is_ a date,” Beatrice crowed, delighted. “My girl is growing up.”

“... I’m older than you,” Kit reminded her, to which Beatrice paid no attention to, and decided to instead fling her head and let her hair - a wavy new hairstyle she was trying - fly dramatically to one side.

Bertrand glanced down at Kit’s boots, then raised an eyebrow, “Someone outside of our organization?”

Kit tugged a strand of her hair behind her ear, “Must I only wear boots for the purpose of concealing my ankle?”

Bertrand shrugged. “Perhaps you worry your date would be telling about stories of ‘The Girl With The Weird Eye Tattoo’.”

“Have you been reading Stieg Larsson again?” Kit asked drily.

“Well, yes,” he grinned. “I do like Blomkvist.”

“Bertrand here likes journalists who investigate crimes,” Beatrice added, grinning, then took a glance down at her notebook, “journalist, that’s what you said he is, right?”

“I like them as _fictional characters_ ,” he emphasized, adjusting his glasses a little.

“Ah yes, fictional detectives who were not secretly in love with a rich friend with penthouse,” Beatrice said in a singsong voice. Bertrand rolled his eye, and Beatrice laughed.

“So,” Beatrice said, turning her attention back to Kit. “He has a point. Someone outside our organization? Ankle-concealing boots?”

“Maybe I’m just wearing these because it’s in,” Kit said, then immediately regretted it as realization dawned in both Beatrice’s and Bertrand’s eyes.

“You’re dating Olaf’s actress student! I’m so proud!” Beatrice exclaimed, flinging her arm across Kit’s shoulders. “By the way, if you ever get the chance, there’s this one necklace I saw her wear once I really like, you can steal it for me.”

“We’re not dating,” Kit protested again, then paused. “I _can_ steal it for you?”

“Yes, you _can_ ,” Beatrice nodded in an enthusiastic and generous manner. “I am bestowing you an honor.”

“Can’t believe we’re friends,” Kit muttered.

“Actually,” Beatrice said, “we’re all about to become even better friends.”

Kit narrowed her eyes suspiciously, and then looked at Bertrand who shrugged at her, which could mean that he had no idea what Beatrice was talking about, but it was also equally possible he knew what was going on and was trying convey his lack of control over what Beatrice planned to do or say.

“We’re getting a mission together,” Beatrice announced. “I heard some higher ranking volunteers discussing it in secret. A big one.”

“What mission?” Kit and Bertrand asked together at the same time.

“I didn’t overhear that part,” Beatrice admitted. “But it sounds like a really big and important one, though they’re probably not going to assign it to us yet, at least not recently, I heard they want to do some more research first. But we’re all going to be on this together! Partners in crime! Best friends!”

“The mission’s going to be a crime?” Bertrand asked, carefully studying a very enthusiastic Beatrice.

“Well, I don’t know, I just think the phrase is cool,” Beatrice conceded, and then winked. “But it just might be!”

 

* * *

 

After ten minutes, Esme successfully convinced Kit to visit some abstract art gallery with her. “There’s going to be a part where they showcase some of the innest tea sets!” Esme said just when Kit was about to refuse for the twenty-third time saying she didn’t really care about the latest fashion exhibition at some weird gallery she’d never heard of.

“I don’t - wait, did you say tea sets?” Kit asked, suddenly excited, unsure if she heard right.

“Wow, I really should’ve led with that,” Esme sighed dramatically. “Look at your eyes all sparkling in excitement. Yes, tea sets.”

“I’ll go,” Kit said, and Esme’s lips pulled into a wide smile.

“Always nice finding common interests, isn’t it?”

Kit would discover later that all those tea sets were fancy looking yet impractical, and barely usable in her opinion.  She would tell Esme as much, and Esme would shrug elegantly, conceding, “Perhaps they’re not very useful as tea sets, but don’t you think that very in spoon there would not be out of place in a, let’s say, high end restaurant while doing the very important work of eavesdropping? Or perhaps that teapot there, if you observe closely -”

“ - is actually a device for shooting small things, like darts,” Kit would realize, eyes widening.

“Very observant, Ms Snicket,” Esme would compliment her, and their eyes would meet, exchanging a look of understanding.

“This is not a show about innest art, is it?” Kit would ask in a low voice.

Esme would give her a falsely innocent smile, “The fliers and posters do advertise about the innest art, as you can clearly see.”

Interest piqued, Kit would look around the gallery some more, and realize that probably a lot of exhibited objects here were all some kind of weapon in disguise or some useful gadget for someone undercover.

“Twenty minutes,” Esme would murmur. “To see who could identify more uses for these - fine arts.”

“You’re on,” Kit would reply immediately.

It was always nice finding common interests.

 

* * *

 

The rain was pouring down outside, water hitting onto the taxi from all sides nonstop for the past thirty minutes.  The traffic was awful, even worse than usual.   The air conditioning was turned on a little too strong, partly to keep the windows from getting foggy, partly to keep Esme, who was wearing an expensive fur coat, from getting sweaty.  It was probably more for Esme’s benefits, Kit thought, as she had no problem driving even if the taxi’s windows were all fogged up.

Unlike Esme in her fur coat, Kit was wearing a secretary’s disguise, including a pencil skirt which made Kit felt odd and uneasy.  She wasn’t used to wearing skirts. Especially not with Esme Squalor was sitting beside her and the air conditioning was too cold that made Kit want to shiver.

One of the cars in front of the honked loudly, while another tried to do a sudden lane switch. In a distance, Kit saw some bike trying to cross the street on a red light. Kit remembered Jacques once complained that everyone became a worse driver during the rain, to which Lemony replied “that’s actually how I realize it was raining because if not for them, I couldn’t tell if that’s just me crying or it’s actually raining.” The car in front of them braked suddenly, and Kit did too, just two seconds before slamming into it. Perhaps even Jacques had a valid point about driving once in a while.

Esme finished applying on her shiny bright red lipstick as if Kit hadn’t braked suddenly, and Kit kind of admired her for it, not that she’d actually tell Esme that. But it was nice driving someone who was so unfazed by everything that’s happening with the traffic, as opposed to her twin who was usually making some kind of criticism about it.

Esme turned the temperature for air conditioning a little colder, and Kit could feel the cool breeze of air against her thighs and legs. Fuck this skirt, she thought, irritably, and suddenly cut to another lane when she saw there’s some space open.  The car behind her on the new lane honked loudly. Esme put her lipstick back into her purse and then put her hand on Kit’s right knee, just a little below the bottom of the skirt. Kit looked down at Esme’s long fingers and the shiny rings on them. There was something fascinating about the outlines and angles of her fingers, Kit thought, strong yet nimble. Kit glanced up again and stopped just in time before bumping into the truck in front of them. Something which Esme made no comment on, which was probably why Kit tolerated her turning this air conditioning this cold. If there had been anyone else here with them, even if they weren’t Jacques, they’d probably have urged Kit to keep her eyes on the road instead of on Esme’s fingers.

Well, perhaps not Beatrice.  If Beatrice had been here, she would’ve said something about those rings, probably. And then she would’ve started planning thievery.

Esme said something about why not have some fun instead of hating this outfit - though her words got drown in the honks of other cars and rain - and then slowly slid her fingers from Kit’s right knee to her the inner part of her right thigh. Kit had no idea how doing this could be comfortable from the passenger seat, considering the pencil skirt was kind of constraining. Esme’s fingers climbed onwards, slowly and calculating, until it suddenly stopped.

A wave of unexplainable disappointment hit Kit, and she stepped on the accelerator hard to cope with it, and then sharply turned onto the sidewalk because if she didn’t she would run into the car in front of her.  The pedestrians scattered away.  Who the hell was out walking in this heavy rain?

Esme chuckled, smug and delighted.

The “continue” almost rolled off her tongue, but she reigned the word in with gritted teeth, not wanting to give Esme even more reason to be smug.  Calmly, Kit drove back onto the road again, narrowly inserting the taxi into two cars, forcing the one near the back to stop and having to let the taxi back into the lane.

She could feel Esme’s barely concealed impatience, as if disappointed at Kit not saying anything or begging her to continue, and then Esme’s fingers started moving again, to Kit’s satisfaction. Kit could feel Esme’s finger landed on her lace of her panty and slowly started stroking.

Kit still couldn’t be sure how Esme managed to insert such strength into her finger at such an inconvenient angle.

Her thighs, previously near shiver due to the cold air in the taxi, were now experiencing a different sensation. Esme rubbed a particular sensitive spot, and Kit’s right foot stumbled a little on the accelerator as she felt her knees go weak. The rain kept pouring down, and the traffic moved slowly.  Esme chuckled, and then used two fingers to pull Kit’s panty out of the way and slid another inside Kit.

Kit closed her eyes for a moment and her foot slammed against the brake.  The car behind honked loudly at them. Kit shuddered as Esme’s finger sank deeper into her, honked back for no particular reason, and switched her foot back to the accelerator again. Esme tutted, and then increased the frequency of her strokes. Kit felt her breath hitch.  She’s riding Esme Squalor’s long fingers with expensive diamond rings at the knuckle. Diamond rings that she could feel at the very top of her thigh, colder and smoother than the cool breeze from air conditioning. What an expensive ride, she thought dazedly to herself. “I want to steal it” she seemed to hear Beatrice’s voice say inside her head.  Esme’s moving her finger at such high speed now it sure felt like the speediest thing going around here, especially considering the slowness of the traffic at the moment, and Kit could feel that she’s very, very close.

And then the pouring rain and the honks and the windshield wiper moving rhythmically in front of her and the horrible traffic all disappeared, turning into burst of white lights, and Kit threw her head back and her foot slid off the accelerator and she felt herself dissolve before re-emerging as a whole again.

“Still don’t like skirts?” Esme asked slyly. “Or have you changed your mind?”

Kit stepped on the accelerator hard.

 

* * *

 

Kit checked her watch, making sure it was indeed ten minutes after Esme had left, and then picked up her bag as she exited the hotel room. The corridor looked empty, which was a relief - even if anyone she knew hadn’t seen she and Esme leave together, they might question what she was doing here alone.

She headed towards the elevator, and frowned when it opened as she saw it wasn’t empty.

Bertrand raised an eyebrow at her, and she waited for him to inevitably ask what was she doing here, but he didn’t. Which really only meant he did not want her to return the question.  Kit tsked, and he smiled wryly.

On second thought, since she already knew he knew about Esme, she decided to go ahead and question him anyway. “Who were you meeting here?” She paused, then frowned. “Is it my twin?”

He huffed. “No. He’s at the penthouse on Dark Avenue with Jacquelyn and Jerome and Josephine. They’re having a JS sleepover.”

She observed him closely, and smirked, “It bothers you, doesn’t it?”

His shrugged, “Not really.” Which seemed honest enough, or at the very least it meant ‘not anymore’, so Kit suspected his own rendezvous at the hotel was rather satisfying. Kit idly wondered who Bertrand was meeting here. He hardly seemed the type to book a hotel room just for something like this, unlike Esme who’d insisted on anonymously booking one of the most expensive suites and after a delightful bubble bath Kit could somewhat see her point, but perhaps whoever he was meeting was someone who enjoyed these kind of luxuries.

Then she got struck by a thought, and asked, “So, how much did your room cost? Esme insisted on getting one of those really expensive suites for she and I.”

He blinked, hesitating for a moment, “Uh -”

 _Bingo_. Kit thought, triumphantly. _He was with one of the Denouements._ “I see your hotel manager took care of that.”

His cheeks reddened a little, and he folded his arms across his chest. “Jealous that I don’t have to pay?”

She smiled sweetly at him. “Not at all. Esme included this in her business trips expenses and would get reimbursed for it.”

He scoffed.

 

* * *

 

Somehow, despite the fact that Kit had secretly used some of her VFD connections to get ahold of certain tea set weapons she’d seen at the art exhibition with Esme that day, and decided to use it for the mission she and Beatrice and Bertrand was assigned with - a mission she later learned that Esme was trying to stop for whoever she was working for - they never really spoke about it after it happened, and kept on meeting as usual.

Beatrice had been fascinated at the teapot that could shoot out darts and the sugar bowl that came with it which was already filled with darts, thanks to Kit’s connection in the weapon black market. And then she had hurried out of the room for a while and came back announcing that very soon it would be “in” to use tea sets in an opera because she just bribed someone at The Daily Punctilio to print out the news about it two weeks later. And then they had all been there, some people passing poison darts inside a sugar bowl to others, some loading them into the shooting teapot, some pretending to be a servant at the opera serving tea (good thing that the opera kept up with the latest fashion), some trying to stop the mission.

And then Kit and Esme didn’t talk about it. Not before, not afterwards.  Kit was more suspicious of Esme’s intentions with their organization and who she worked for from then on, and she suspected Esme thought the same for her, but they didn’t talk about it, just kept on their rendezvouses as usual, fucking in hotel rooms or the taxi as usual, while trying to subtly find out what each other was working on - which, Kit had to admit, was pretty usual for the two of them too.

Which suited Kit just fine. She knew Esme and her were never really heading for a serious relationship or anything like that, but their current situation worked to her advantage as she could gain insight into what people against VFD were plotting.  Plus, sexy taxi rides with no emotional attachment or whatsoever.

It was almost ideal, really.

 

* * *

 

Kit woke up with her phone buzzing beside her, her head hurting, and her left hand trapped under Esme’s neck. Esme, the makeup from previous night’s opera play now blurred on her face, her hair messy instead of perfectly styled like last night.

Imperfection. Esme Squalor.

She got lost in staring at Esme for a while before remembering to piece the two puzzle pieces together into a logical thought. _Blackmail._

Her right hand reached for the phone, stealthily took a picture of Esme, then started checking her messages.

* * *

[ _La Forza Del Destino_ ]

 **Baticeer Extraordinaire** : why do you both like getting topped by

 **Baticeer Extraordinaire** : morally ambiguous people with initial E

 **B** : …….……..

 **B** : why are you and i friends

 **Baticeer Extraordinaire** : see the chat name

 **Baticeer Extraordinaire** : :)

 **B** : that was a rhetorical question but

 **B** : fair answer

 **K** : we are all morally ambiguous people

 **K** : see the chat name

 **K** : anyway

 **K** : esme and i switch

 **Baticeer Extraordinaire** : and how do any of those contradict with what I said?

* * *

 She almost sent out “ _you’re just jealous you don’t have E as an initial_ ” after “ _we are all morally ambiguous people_ ” but deleted the line just in time. Even in her hangover state, she knew that she would regret it if she sent that out.  It’s a subject she made efforts to avoid, even if it could be made to look like a joke.

She carefully pulled her left hand from under Esme’s neck and went into the showers.

 

* * *

 

[ _fake licenses in 3rd book inside glove compartment_ ]

 **63** : since when did you change to 136

 **63** : i remembered it being just over 100 last time i checked??

 **63** : just because you already got tired of breaking the speed limit

 **63** : that doesn’t mean you need to keep breaking your own records

 **63** : it’s dangerous

 **136** : 3 days ago

 **136** : hinterlands

 **87** : was this some weird speed driving date with that unbearable actress you’re dating

 **136** : L

 **136** : Lemony

 **136** : L

 **136** : you really can’t point any fingers when it comes to dating unbearable actresses

 **63** : i don’t care who you are dating but that speed is not acceptable

 **87** : what about ME do you care about ME at all

 

* * *

 

They were walking back to the taxi parked in a small alleyway after the movies. Between deciphering codes in her head without the help of a spyglass filter and Esme’s hands slyly walking those long fingers across Kit’s thighs, she barely knew what the plot of the movie was even by the end of it.

Kit unlocked the car and opened the backseat, wanting to just put her backpack into it before she started driving. After putting it in, though, she found herself unable to move because Esme was blocking her way out.

“In,” Esme said, her lips pulling upwards slightly, her body leaning into Kit.

Kit raised an eyebrow, “Adjective you like to describe yourself with?”

“That is not _incorrect_ ,” Esme permitted, her lips - so bright red that Kit wondered if red-like-blood-from-fresh-wound-red-lipstick was in now - curling up slightly, “however, it’s more of a command here.”

Kit gave her an unimpressed look. “Well, I’m not really the type to take commands.”

Esme’s smile widened, her eyes sparkling in amusement. “VFD’s perfect volunteer, not the type to take commands? Oh, darling, you’re _hilarious_.”

Kit folded her arms across her chest, her arms bumping into Esme’s body in process due to their proximity. “Not from _you_ ,” she clarified.

“Is that _so_?” Esme drawled, the last word drawing out long as she put her right hand onto the taxi, while resting an arm on Kit’s left shoulder. “Well, at least you don’t deny you do loyally follow all commands from your precious VFD.”

Kit scoffed, but halfway in the middle of the scoff, Esme leant into Kit’s face and captured Kit’s mouth with her own, her tongue skillfully parting Kit’s lips in a fast manner then delving into her mouth. Kit could feel her own tongue meeting Esme’s, and that’s when her knees gave in and she fell down onto the backseat, pulling Esme down with her, the two of the tumbling down rather inelegantly. 

Esme’s legs stretched back and somehow miraculously managed to pulled the door close with her high heels, slamming it shut. In the back of her mind somewhere, Kit was slightly impressed at this and wondered exactly how Esme had done it, and if this left any scratch marks on the inside of the taxi and that Jacques and Lemony would probably have a few things to say about that, but ultimately, all irrelevant thoughts went away as Esme’s lips found hers again and they resumed kissing.

 

* * *

 

“Because you think that underneath all those extravagant details and high fashion, she’s ruthlessly practical, and you,” Bertrand paused for a moment, searching for the word to use, “ _admire_ that.”

Kit narrowed her eyes. “Just like you _admire_ certain people’s friendly mask that carefully wraps up the darker truth underneath?”

He flushed, ever so slightly, “Well, that is certainly a trait to be admired.”

“Now you just sound narcissistic,” she scoffed.

His lips twitched a little, but then he said, “Anyway, be careful.”

“I know.”

“Not just about classified information,” Bertrand said. “Or VFD things.”

She raised an eyebrow at him, almost laughing, “Are you going to tell me to be careful with my heart?”

He adjusted the frames of his glasses slightly, and then shrugged. “Perhaps.”

She rolled her eyes. “Esme and I - this is all just fun and sex and espionage. I’m not going to fall in love.”

Bertrand studied her for a bit, then he held up his glass of beer, a playful smile across his lips, and said, “Well, here’s to fun and sex and espionage.”

“To fun and sex and espionage,” Kit agreed, clinking her glass against his.

**Author's Note:**

> [come say hi on tumblr](https://beatricebidelaire.tumblr.com)


End file.
